Growing Up In Hoboken?

I was talking to a colleague today about Hoboken, Jersey City, and the massive growth this area (especially, Jersey City) has seen in the past 15 years or so. He lives in Jersey City – in the Paula’s Paulus Hook area – but hails from the Bronx where he was born and raised. We talked about how, when I started working at Harborside Financial Center in 1995, Avalon Cove wasn’t even under construction and, now, Donald Trump is building near the Grove Street PATH station; I can say I never thought that area would ever gentrify so quickly (if at all). Despite this growth – which he believes is good for the area – he is leaving it as soon as he can. I don’t know where he plans on moving but when his kids get to be 3 or 4, he says, he’s going to make sure he’s out of Jersey City and away from Hoboken. The reason, he says, is because there is no way he would want his child growing up in the area.

Like I said, he was born and raised in the Bronx; I don’t know his family’s means but I know his mother is a school teacher in the NYC Public School system – which probably means she’s underpaid. He tells me that because she is a school teacher, she has seen the worst in children and made sure her kids went to private schools. These weren’t fancy or expensive schools (3 or 4 grand a year we guessed) but they weren’t a free ride either. They kept my co-worker out of trouble and surrounded by good kids who also seemed to want to get away from the chaos, fear, and poor classroom experience brought on by the rough and tumble children of the streets. He’s a smart guy and his positive prep school experience helped him reach a potential often lost in today’s youth.

When he said that he was going to leave the area as soon as possible, I was puzzled. Surely, Hoboken and Paula’s Paulus Hook were better than the Bronx? While he agreed that they were, he didn’t want his kids going to the public school system, befriending the local kids who, he feared, were no good. He judges unfairly, perhaps, but he sees the kids here ‘hanging around’ acting brutishly and making lots of loud noise laced with profanity. He didn’t know if there were private elementary schools around but wouldn’t even chance it. He’s fine with sending his children to a public school as long as its reputable, with a good faculty, and in an area that will be safer than Newark Ave or Jackson St. Like I said, I don’t know where he plans to move but he assures me its not the Bronx, not Jersey City, and not Hoboken.

So it got me thinking… Is Hoboken a place to raise your children? Is Hoboken a safe place to have your child attend kindergarten and graduate high school? Would you raise your family here? For those that do, why? For those who won’t, I ask the same: why? Is St. Peter’s Prep still not good enough even though kids from Manhattan cross the river to attend it? Is Stevens Cooperative School also a waste of money? Can a child be raised to be a civil person with good manners, values, and ethics? This is surely a question of Nature vs Nurture but it must be asked.

My wife is a native New Yorker. Born and raised in Greenwich Village, she believes that it doesn’t matter where you live or what school you attend – parents can raise their children “right” in an inner city system and give them good values, manners, etc. and a good education. She firmly believes that 99% of the hooligans out there had parents who didn’t spend the right kind of time with them as children and they picked up bad habits from the street urchins. Granted, she understands it can be tough as many parents – both of them – work two jobs just to eat hand to mouth. But, she says, it doesn’t make it an excuse for not raising kids properly. While I agree with her theory, in practice, I believe the opposite.

I am a native suburbanite. Born and raised outside the concrete and metal walls of the city, I believe that where you live and the school you attend has a tremendous influence on you as a young and impressionable youth. I believe that a child growing up outside of the city has a greater chance of learning values that are, traditionally, honored in our society. ‘Hanging around’ happens less often in young people who attend schools where there is a supportive culture like those found in suburbia. Coming from these areas doesn’t mean your child will grow up to be Mr. or Ms. perfect – far from it as suburbia has its share of troubles – but, statistically speaking, a child from the suburbs has a better chance in life than those who hail from inner cities. I did not attend a private school but my public school was good enough to support the good parenting I received from my mom and dad.

Bad parents are everywhere, however; a parent that neglects their children in suburbia is just as bad as one that neglects their children in a city; kids hang around in malls and around town centers all over this country and get into all types of trouble just like the city kids. But are there more bad parents in Hoboken with children in the school system than Chatham, NJ? Does this put a child at a disadvantage in life later on? Can a parent raise their child in this area (and in public schools) knowing that there are goons everywhere (probably) causing grief in class and trouble after school is out?

What say you Hoboken Blog readers? Have you or will you raise your family here and why?

For the record, I plan on raising my kids here but I will be looking for private schools.